The Funniest Things People Ever Said on a Resume

Since your first résumé, you have been told to be creative, stand out from others and possibly even knock an employer’s socks off. While this is typically great advice, there is such a thing as taking it too far. No matter what approach you take, your résumé is an advertisement of YOU with the goal of securing a first interview. If you advertise outrageous, ridiculous or crazy, don’t be surprised when you are passed by.

Here’s a few of our favorites:


“To work in an office with coffee and food. This helps me be productive.”

“I want to be a billionaire.”

“To work and get paid.”


“entertain co-workers using my ability to eat a large quantity of Siracha.”

“To say yes to everything, and regret saying yes later.”


“2008-2011 – Self-employment – Illicit drug sales.”

“Completed horrendous projects that nobody else wanted.”


“Built a garage that rivals Tony Stark’s for the purpose of prototyping.”

“The Marines is likely my biggest accomplishment, even though I couldn’t join.”

“Hired a balloon artist to entertain our team.”


“Hanging with friends, watching vintage movies, shopping online at work.”

“Shooting at the gun club.”

Sources: (The Job Network, Best Life Online, The Undercover Recruiter)

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